ブログは更新していませんでしたが、英語の勉強はコツコツと続けています。
レアジョブも気がつけば、４３０回を越えました。いまだに言いたい単語が即座に出てこないもどかしさはあります。
さてさて、今回は、10/13の英検１級に向けて、writingについてです。ここ２日連続で、レアジョブ先生に英文をチェックしてもらってます。２日とも、先生に授業中に突撃で、英文チェックしてくれってお願いしたもので、先生もちゃんと心構えできてない状況だったかもしれませんが、一応、下記に。
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★Are prisons an effective way to deal with criminals?
初期
It is true that some ex-prisoners commit a crime again and prison system is not perfect to change prisoners’ mind and action. However, I think it is the most effective way to deal with criminals.
Firstly, physical or mental punishment hurt human rights more than prisons. They never change minds of prisoners even if they become crime deterrence.
Secondly, prisoners can use long time to learn good things and take rehabilitation to return to society. They can also get skills and knowledge to restart their life. It is beneficial for our society to get those people.
Finally, prisons generate jobs to operate them. They cannot be operated automatically by machine.
In conclusion, there is no other way to recover prisoners effectively except prisons.
先生の訂正後
It is true that some ex-convict commits a crime again and prison system is not perfect to change prisoners’ mind and action. However, it is the most effective way to deal with criminals.
Firstly, physical or mental punishment hurt human rights more than prisons. This cannot reform or solve the problem even if this becomes crime deterrence.
Secondly, prisoners must be given enough time to change for the betterment of their lives by going to a rehabilitation center. They may discover skills and enhance their knowledge to start a new and better life.
Finally, it offers employment opportunities for those who deserve to manage or observe the prisoners and maintenance peace and order of the society.
This is the best way to give them the chance to become better citizens.
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★Agree or disagree: A college education is necessary for everyone
初期
Recently, many people graduate from colleges. I think, however, a college education is not necessary for everyone.
First, Costs are expensive. Many parents have to save their money to prepare for their children’s tuition. It stressed their living cost. Or student who cannot get help from their parents have to pay tuition by themselves and most of them make debt. It becomes burden on them to start their life after their graduation.
Second, high school curriculums give enough knowledge and skills to people. Some college education doesn’t match to jobs in this era because knowledge needed in workplace has changed so rapidly. Unchanged basic skills can be learned in high school.
Finally, there are many opportunities in which people can get education. Companies offer on-the-job training. People can learn from books and internet information wherever and whenever they want. So the college education is not the only one from which people can get high level knowledge and skill.
In conclusion, college education is necessary for people who has specific aim to do there.
先生の訂正後
Nowadays, many people are able to finish a degree in universities. However, I think college education is not necessary for everyone.
Firstly, costs are high. Many parents have to save money to prepare for their children's tuition. Students who cannot get help from their parents have to pay tuition by themselves. Most of them have debt. It becomes a burden for them to start their life after graduation.
Secondly, high school curriculums give enough knowledge and skills to students. Some college education doesn't match the jobs in this era because the knowledge needed in the workplace is changing so rapidly. Basic skills requirements to work can be learned in high school.
Finally, there are many opportunities wherein people can get education. Companies offer on-the-job trainings. People can learn from books and internet information wherever and whenever they want. So, the college education is not the only WAY from which people can get high level knowledge and skills.
In conclusion, college education is necessary for people who has specific aim.
まあ、そもそもどちらも、文字数は、200文字に足りてないんですけどね～
15点以上獲得を目指したいとこです。
この２日で学んだこと。
First → Firstly
Recently → Nowadays?
I think, however, → However,
Or ではじめない。
